I love this shot!

I was looking at some random pictures from a friends site. *sorry nanings I took some of your pics* it was our *mine and helbes* trip to the philippines. It was from our reunion with the others there. Sad to say we didn't really meet them all kse most of them had their appointments or watever excuse they made...hehe ;)


Caby, moi, nannings and michelle


marck, melvin, kb, and boo



Us again. at the club this time

Our matadoe moment!


I was already trying to be nice to him and this is what he does to me!


Our CK ad


The Fantastic 4


These are just some of the pictures that me and my camwhore friends have taken...i swear there are tons more..as in super tons more! They are all on my multiply but sad to say I had to put everything for my contacts only and well if you aren't and really wants to see them ask me.

I've been pretty tied down. Well I try to be.

I finally watched V for vedetta, its was good however, I think it wasted my boos money just to watch it at the movies, should have just gotten a dvd and watched it at home. It didn't bore me. I guess I am just not up for those movies. I've always been a diehard romantic and thus loves watching romantic movies or scare myself off in the movies watching some scary flick where I can hug my boo and get the TLC I love getting from him.

I chilled with levv, chinx and cheche the last nite...and this I reckon we shall only see each other like after a couple of days rather than everyday..at least we wont feel restless when we see each other.

I miss my boo. I miss my siblings and I miss my old friends.

*boonzz...I love u. Thanks.

**mitch. i love you too.. Thanks as well.

Sometimes I wonder if the friends that i am always with are my real friends or are they just friends just because they need you. Somehow now I'm hurting. Not because of him but because of other people. Sometimes, I think that my real friends are actually the friends whom I don't often see but when I talk to them its seems like we've never been apart. I miss my old friends.

im hurting.

Ive never hurted this much before.

Ive never cried the whole night non stop.

I need help.

I want to hate you but I love you so much.

I cant fucking post a picture..Ive been tryin to upload a picture since forever. maybe later.

Life can be good at times yes?? Well last nite me and my boo had a good talk. and yes, its all good. ive finally stopped crying. I think. It hurts to cry and yes, hurt hurts. Life can be a bitch but then after that obstacle everything is all good again. Like me and Helbe. It hasn't just been good. It has been a fucking rollercoaster, and if I ever have to do it again, I definitely will, that is if it is him again. It is a good rollercoaster.

There are just days that you feel you need the freedom where you need not tell another person what you are goin to do and what you want to do or just whatever. I know how that feels and as I was talking to my man last night, I realised, I know what he was talking about how there are days when you feel like single not because you do not love the person you are with but because you like that chase. The chase where you can look at someone else and get her phone number or have a date without feeling guilty because you are in a relationship. I have had that feeling and gawd! it just...well that's when you actually realise how much you love the person that you are in a relationship with.

I know I am ranting again. Self-control. Boo was telling me that I should have some kind of self-control. Well, honey, thats why I have you. haha...another rant.

I still cant fucking upload a picture!!!

Im depressed.

the story of us

Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you - The Story of Us.

I love love love that movie. It is such a great movie..

...we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight...

Look, this is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through this, let's give it another try.

There are some hurts that you never completely get over. And you think, I don't know, that time will diminish their presence - an-an-and to a degree it does - but, ah... it still hurts. Because, well... hurt hurts.

People *change* over time - you've got to expect that.... the only way a relationship works is if people grow and change together!

Well this is just some of the quotes that I like from that movie..I was just watching it and I thought I should share it with you. Its a good eye opener to alot of things...a marriage is not just a marriage...its a whole new world.

*I love you boo*


In the past couple of days, i have cried so much that I feel like my eyes are just going to pop out anytime soon as argh....i'm stressed. I do not know wat to do.

*On a more lighter note* I finally saw qeelz and talked with her..thank god for having friends like her. After church yesterday I had dinner with my ma and my friends and then sent ma home and went out again. *i love my mom* While I was out with some of my friends. I realised something. They are the friends that listens to you....GOD!...thank you for friends like them. Im seriously messed up now. I think I really need something to do cos doing nothing makes me so blah with my life. It sucks! I want something to do! I swear, when I am not doing anything I tend to think of all negative things. I am just a pessimist that I am always thinking so fucking negative and its starting to kill me. I want to know but I cant because Im scared. <<--- Very random i know. Dont care.

I was just looking at some lyrics from a song that I heard from the Movie story of us. I love love love the lyrics.

(I) Get Lost

by Eric Clapton

I'm sorry.
Why should I say I'm sorry?
If I hurt you,
You know you've hurt me too.

But you get lost inside your tears,
And there is nothing I can do,
'Cause I get lost inside my fear
That I am nothing without you.

You're angry.
Why shouldn't you be angry?
With what we've been through,
Well I get angry too.

Chorus

'Cause I am nothing without you.

Why should we have taken so long
To be looking inside of our mind?
Everything we tried went wrong.
Are we worried 'bout what we might find?

I'm sorry,
But can I say I'm sorry?
If I hurt you,
You know it hurts me too.

Chorus

And you get lost inside your tears,
And there is nothing we can do,
'Cause I get lost inside my fear
That I am nothing without you.

'Cause I am nothing without you.
And I am nothing without you.
'Cause I am nothing without you.
'Cause I am nothing without you.


*Soph...I love my hair too..haha.. Love u babes*

the nite out

so last nite me and chinx went to pick up eleven and manuel from work and from there we went to the mall to do some sight seeing...boredom led us to do this. however, it actually turned out to be pretty productive. *to wat i think*

we had dinner at kfc, then headed to the cinema to watch Nanny McPhee a very well.. childish movie with s lil' output for adults. well there are some lessons to be learnt as well right chinx??. there's that If you need me but don't want me I will be there but If you want me but do not need me then I shall be gone, well that is one lesson, the other one, people would definitely do anything for money! ooo..that is soo effing true. I swear it is...However, there is one that I am still trying to figure out about the movie. What happened to Nanny McPhee when the kids did lesson 1??... i mean lesson 2, she lost a mole..lesson 3, she lost another mole...then lesson 4 her skin became better and lesson 5 was her teeth and her figure..so wat is lesson 1??..can someone please tell me...

Anyways..after the movie we headed to chill to talk about the movie and wat i was going on about that lesson shyt..and haha..eleven and chinx took some souvenir..*no comment on that one* well while we were at chill we talked, we laughed and wat we do best...we take pictures.. okay the picture is in my multiply. so just click away, if you can be bothered..haha.. I love you guys..

today??..well i was planning to meeting the beau since he is in town..but we shall see how it goes. I really want to meet him cos I miss him dearly!...i want want want my booboo now now now!... yes, I am an effing demanding girlfriend. *joke*

much much love

the new layout??

well i just randomly thought about getting a new layout and here it is..i think its okay not that hot but it shall do until boredom strikes again.

i just realised its been almost a full month since the last time i blogged here. hey. its not like anyone actually reads this. I do not care. this is where i put how i feel and all that bullshit.

oo..ive finally did something neat to my hair...i had it dyed auburn last sunday and yesterday i had highlights placed on them. i think its pretty sweet. my mom likes it. gosh. i miss those bonding sessions with my mom, irregardless of shopping or going to the salon or watever..i just miss bonding with her. i love love love my mom. she rocks. i know the ups and downs but hey watever happens she is and will always be my mom. i love love love her.

yesterday, i thought of actually just sleeping the whole morning..but apparently around 11ish...my boyfriend arrived at my crib without telling me. *surprised*. i seriously did not want to get out of bed. i was over at my parents bed sleeping when the bell rang and i seriously could not be bothered getting out of the bed just to get the door so my daddy got it and he told me helbe was there i was like 'yeah, watever dad..i know u just want me to get off my lazy ass'..but then my dad went out of the room again and i heard my boos' voice and i frantically jumped out of bed...gawd! he just loves to surprise me...then i hugged him for like forever..cos i swear i was still dead sleepy...*don't blame me...i got off the phone talking to my boo at around 3 in the morning* then we went out for brunch at misato. i just love love japanese... then walked around mall looking for shades for him..couldnt find anything that he likes or that actually suits him. so we went to yayasan and got the shades there...then home sweet home.. he had to go back to kaybee *i hate those times* hes got work today.

when i got home mommy was like lets go to the salon i want to get my hair done. so im like umm..okay..wen?...shes like now...okay..lets go..hehe..i love the salon with my mom..i get to do anything and everything..hehe...well i think watever they did to my hair at the salon, i think its sweet..as i've said earlier. okay i'll just post a vanity picture of myself with the new hair-do..hehe I told u its pretty sweet...hehe...i shall be changing it..hope soon..hehe..like next month..haha... i love my hair for now though..hehe...*thanks to my mommy*

okay...ciaos...

*oo..i shall add the rest of the side thingys when im dead ass bored.*

much love to everyone..

shopgirl/eating out

its 2:30am and I am still not fucking fast asleep. I swear there is something wrong with my body clock, that is if it still fucking exist. I hate this.

I have to wake up by 6:30 to send my ma to work, then pick her up noontime. The whole day today, I was just driving for the family, mostly my ma. I dont mind, its just that it does get tiring and sometimes they just dont understand that.

I just finished watching shopgirl and eating out. Shopgirl, well. *yawn yawn* no comment. Eating out. Weird but incredibly good. I think people should watch eating out to actually understand gays. I know the one person who definitely will not watch it is my booboo. He just abso-fucking-lutely hate gays. I mean, the closest people to me are gay. No, some of them are still in the closet gay but they are gay. do not ask who. I love my gay friends, as gay.

I am currently watching Brokeback Mountain (Its another gay movie), from what I heard from a friend, it is actually good. I will ust watch and see.

The past few days, I have been a professional bum. No, I still havent found a job and Yes, I am NOT looking, well that is until last weekend. do not ask. It hurts.

I swear I just cant sleep earlier than 4am. I probably could, if I was THAT tired, but i never get tired. The only time I would wake up is at noontime or even later. If I do get up earlier, there has to be a really good reason. Just like today. fuck. I slept so late and I woke up at 6-fucking-am. gak! I tried getting more sleep but I just couldnt get more than 2 hours. I skipped lunch and dinner so that I could catch on my sleep. Yes. I do try to get enough sleep for my body. Lunch and dinner time were the only time that I can catch on my sleep. The rest of the day was spent driving for my family. no I am not complaining.

i swaer my sleeping routine is totally fucked up...its 2:30am..and I am still not a tiny bit sleepy...last nite i slept past 2-fucking-am..i need help!

valentines is just around the corner and I still havnt got a clue wat my booboo wants to do...he said he has planned something..but doesnt want me to know until valentines day itself...i havent gotten him a gift...his birthday is coming up as well..wtf??...argh! i hate this!

.OMG!!.

i swear i was just gonna freak out..my day started so so...until...gak!...i got caught by the police..i was driving past the speed limit..which is totally stupid..cos the limit is 100..and i was like 112?..hello 12?..and they wudnt let it go..argh...oh well...at least it wasnt my car...but fuck!..it was my fucking name..gak!...oh well..haha... ;) 50 bcks gone from johnrey..

so this is how it all started..

eleven picked my up frm the workshop cos i needed to send my car and he needed company to go to kb..so i joined him..he got tired of driving so i drove..then while we were on that stretch of bsb-kb...the police was like..you are over speeding...fuck!...gak!...haha..oh well...it totally freaked me out..then eleven totally calmed me down by saying i got caught...soooo many times here...phew...hehe.. oh well.. a lesson learnt today..dont drive fast...I wish!...hehe

love lots!

memoirs of a geisha

You Are 60% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul. You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess. You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection. You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement. You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

damn. i didnt know i was THAT of an abnormal. not that it is a bad thing, but yea. abnormal? grr.. hehe.. so...okay..the past few days have been a bitch. my hubby is not around the country. hes somewhere in the same island though. come home to me soon baby. i need someone to talk to. (im a loner-fuck!)

i am sick and tired of this theme watever u call it. I will most probably change it. asap. if i dont end up sleeping soon. then I guess i shall do it today. not like anyone is interested in reading my rants.

i watch memoirs of a geisha today with my parents and some of their friends. it was a good movie. never thought it would be that good. but it was. damn. i do not want to be a geisha. i doubt i can be. but hmmm....thinks..hehe....baby??..hehe..joke joke. he wouldnt want me to. it was like during their time being a geisha is sooo WOW!...and entertainer. instead of a tv entertaining you..women who has painted their faces is a geisha. well u can definitely not call a prostitute a geisha. different category honey. hehe... ;) great great movie.


i miss my boyfriend. come back yeah?

pictures...hehe

me and my cute lik cousin jasmine..hehe my partner in crime

.very random.

...Your Heart Is Orange

Love equals unbridled happiness for you. You enjoy the wild ride of falling in love. And while the ride is fun for a while, you always get off once the thrill is gone. Your flirting style: Hyper Your lucky first date: Anything you need your passport for! Your dream lover: Is both daring and well grounded What you bring to relationships: Energy

What Color Heart Do You Have?

i can say that that is true..however...umm..bleh...im not gonna comment. I guess that was me then..but now its just a totally different story. Im not getting any younger... *love u hun*

the philippines!

OMG!!...i never thought the phils would be a blast...damn..i had the best time while I was there...

the clubbing at basement.. the fantab time with my friends from the past...gak!. i want to go back...now! bring me home now...wait-a-minute! my home is where my booboo is...okay rephrase...take me to the phils now!! me want!! hehe,,,,more pics will be posted...soon...once i get my pics uploaded..m just not bothered yet..hehe..grabed this pic from mommy anna..hehe...damnit me didnt get to meet all of them...but non-the-less..it was a fantab time..hehe...

the shopping from one mall to another...i know my booboo had a fantab time shopping..he was much more of a shopaholic that I was..but hey i still got to shop..the starbucks everyday..! i miss my starbucks...grrr...they really shud have starbucks here...really! i want starbucks! grrrr...

i just realisd my watchamacalit...umm..tagboard is gone..will fix it someday..i mean no one bothers readin so yeah...could not be bothered shitless...hehe.. ;)

next time

december 2005

It has been a month of a lot of happenings. I will not put all the details but here are some:-

• dec 17 - my brothers garden wedding which was sooo awesome..the only sad thing was that It was raining. Nonetheless it was sooo romantic. It was up in the mountains. I want to have my wedding there too *hint hint*
• dec 18 - my sisters babys christening. Baby Marc Andrew got baptized as well as my parents 30th wedding anniversary. For the christening we basically just went to the church for baptism then off to her hubbys crib for the latter celebration. 30th anniversary of my parents...had dinner at gerrys. food was great.
• dec 22 - the day I was supposed to go back to Brunei. did not happen as our car broke down. woot woot. hehe...so we ended up going to Baguio. which was soooo cold damnit.
• dec 23 - still in baguio. had nice time bonding with my mommy ditas and daddy chito and their grankids... ;)
• dec 24 - last minute shopping for xmas. which was totally unplanned for. church at 11, noche buena the minute we arrived home. it was sooo much fun as it has been a while since my whole family has celebrated christmas together with no one missing. We has exchange gifts and all that.
• dec 25 - christmas. went to the tolentino clan. spent the whole day there. then dinner at super bowl.
• dec-26 - still xmas celebration went to another tolentino residence. dinner then shopping at ilog for my last night
• dec 27 - early trip to clark pampanga for my flight back to kk then from kk fly back to Brunei
• dec 28 - spent the whole day with my boo boo. movie (king kong . it sucked BIG TIME).
• dec 29 - officially resigned from my job.

haha...till then..gtg...eleven is on his way here..bye...

going

Life has been nice. well thats for the past few days. I swear everyday there are fucked ups and downs..but hey I am still surviving all those shit.

Monday. my booboo arrived from bali. He seemed happy. I guess he enjoyed. thats good then. But then..hes sick. fuck. Tummy crams or something. not to worry. nurse matet is here. wooohoo!. stayed home a while then dinner at the mall. bought 2 movies then home. by 11 we were asleep. I know weird. *we were alone at home, my parents are back in the phils*

Tuesday. me and my booboo got up so motherfucking early. i skived work. 7:30am. like wtf? no work and we get up early. but hey we went back to sleep. got up at around 10ish then cooked breakfast for him. finished up with the movie that we were watching the night before. *I swear you guys should watch that movie. "Death to the supermodels" fucking hillarious man!* then went back to bed at ard 11ish. fuck. sleep the whole day! by the time it was 2, we were hungry again. so we decided to get out of bed take a shower and then off to gadong to pay off bills and get my atm card and of course lunch. then it was 5. fuck. time for him to go. gak! I do not want him to go!!!! oh well..life is a bitch. so he left. I stayed home and did the sex and the city marathon. again. at 9 i decided I needed to get out of the fuckin house. so i called some friends. left and went to gdg. it was slightly full. not to worry. haha. then tita lina called. so me picked her up. we chilled at chill. yes with my aunt. it was cool. i like it when she is around. i get to have free food! wooohooo!! *cheap ass* anyhoots. was supposed to meet someone. never did. then at midnight I went home. picked up my gran from my aunts then home sweet home.

Wednesday. work is a bitch! nothing exciting. I finally watched narnia.

fuck. this blog is gonna get so random!

I miss my boyfriend. Im flying off tonight. fuck. I want my boyfriend to come! shiets.. oh well

bye.

adorable...

i saw these cute pictures...I like...hehe. Can I please have the remote for christmas... joke baby..you know I love you the way u are.. ;)

...

Fashionista 61% Tastefulness, 56% Originality, 67% Deliberateness, 47% Sexiness

[Tasteful Original Deliberate Prissy] One is certain: you have great taste and plenty of ideas. You have clearly defined beliefs about what's good and what's bad in fashion but they are far from banal. Stylish and imaginative, you prefer to inspire admiration than to shock and you mostly succeed. Even if sometimes you'd like to have more courage to put on something absolutely outrageous you do great job in creating a unique look that others look up to. There is a possibility that you work in the fashion industry. If you don't, perhaps you should. The opposite style from yours is Bar Cruiser [Flamboyant Conventional Random Sexy]. All the categories: Fashion Enemy Bar Cruiser Kid Next Door Sex Bomb Hippie Kid Fashion Rebel Fashion Artist Catwalk God(ess) Librarian Sporty Hottie Office Master Uptown Girl/ Boy Brainy Student Movie Star Fashionista Glamorous Soul

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 58% on Tastefulness You scored higher than 53% on Originality You scored higher than 75% on Deliberateness You scored higher than 33% on Sexiness

Link: The Fashion Style Test written by mari-e on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

I just want to know who actually reads my blog. The only person I know who does is boonishness..I love that wuman!...so please...leave me a note or something if u do.

you are runing my fucking life

fuck you!...u fucking bastard...gawd...now u want me to be that...fuck u!...and everything is still the same.. damn u!...i just wish you go to hell like right now!!

**venting out!!